Corrupt a Wish!

Granted but only in invisible ink

I wish I was funny.

Granted, but it is because you are really dumb and people laugh at you.

I wish that Mafia Online had popup notifications.

Granted, but they look like this:

I wish I could have a booth at my school's fundraiser

Granted, but you can't earn money.

I wish it was summer.

Granted. It's summer in the other hemisphere.

I wish I was already in college.

Granted, but you major in theoretical quantum mathematics.

I wish I was showering.

Granted, but the shower temperatures are either boiling hot or arctic cold.

I wish I could sleep early every night.

Granted, but you fall asleep in the late afternoon and sleep until morning and miss a lot of fun stuff that happens in the evening.

I wish I didn't need caffeine so badly.

Granted, because you're now an alcoholic.

I wish I could get more hours at work

Granted, but you don't get paid for them.

I wish I could vote.

Granted, but you can only vote for the opposite of who you want to vote for.


I wish Mitch Hedberg was still alive.

Granted but he's lost his sense of humor.

I wish I succeeded at everything I tried

Granted, but you only try things you want to fail at.

I wish I was taller.

Granted, you're 1/100th of an inch taller.

I wish I still had Halloween candy.

Granted, you have a bag full of Good and Plenty's.

I wish my client was more realistic.

I LOVE GOOD AND PLENTY'S

Granted, you don't have a client.

I wish I could ace any test.

Granted. Pregnancy and drug tests, here comes Jessica!

I wish I knew how to organize my story.

Granted, but you don't finish it.

I wish that my dad was sane.

Lucy, I laughed.

Saturn, granted, but you become insane and locked up in one of those padded rooms forever.

I wish I could play guitar.

Granted, but every time you strum, the strings snap and hit your fingers and your eyes.

I wish I could whistle.

Granted, but only really high notes that no one can hear.

I wish we all had our own place to hang out in IRL.

Granted, but it is ran by Oliver.

I wish that your sponge was blue.

Granted, but my name is still PinkSponge and I'm going to change it back soon anyway.

I wish I could touch rainbows.

Granted, but they're actually really hot to the touch and you get burned.

I wish I still lived in Harrisonburg.

Granted, but no one else does.

I wish I'd read the Iliad yesterday instead of going online.