Corrupt a Wish!

Granted, but since you didn't go online you didn't get the email your teacher sent telling you you were supposed to read the Odyssey, not the Iliad.

I wish I had a babelfish in my head.

Granted, but it's a mutated one that only translates languages you'll never hear.

I wish I had my own spaceship.

Granted, but it explodes during lift-off.

I wish a planet would be named after me.

Granted, but it's so small only the top scientists even know it exists--but they don't care about it anyway.

I wish that nothing I own will ever break again.

Granted, but they get lost, never to be found again.

I wish I could buy things online without paying for shipping costs.

Granted, but you have to walk to the other side of the world to pick them up.

I wish I could buy more yarn.

Granted, but it gets stolen from you.

I wish I could design and make my own clothes.

Granted, but you can't wear or sell them.

I wish I had my own apartment

Granted, it sucks, and is expensive.

I wish I was better at guitar.

Granted, but all guitars everywhere break and the world stops making them, so your talent is useless.

I wish my clothing would wash itself.

Granted, but they shrink when they wash themselves like in cartoons.

I wish there was wifi everywhere.

Granted, but no one will tell you the password.

I wish I knew the password to the wifi that is everywhere.

Granted, but it's really sucky wifi.

I wish I wasn't in school right now and didn't have to stay afterschool for four hours.

Granted. You are in prison and then you have to go to school for six hours afterschool.

Granted, but you die.

I wish I could find my giant bag of nail polish.

Granted, but there's no nail polish in it.

I wish I lived in Iceland.

Granted, but there's no internet so you have to go without mafia.

I wish saturn would remember to post the second part of these posts

Granted, but he forgets the first part.

I wish I never had writer's block.

Granted, but you never have the enthusiasm to write.

I wish it was Saturday.

I wish I could remember the first part of my posts.

Granted but then you forget the second part

I wish I could have internet this weekend

Granted, but you are lynched the first day of mafia so it doesn't matter anyway.

I wish I was a better dancer.

Granted, but only when you're alone.

I wish it was tomorrow so I could be watching MLP.

Granted, but you don't have any MLP so you just sit by yourself wishing for ponies.

I wish I was caught up on Doctor Who and MLP and Once Upon a Time and Big Bang Theory and Castle and Bones.

Granted, but you can't watch new episodes afterwards.

I wish I had friends.