Let's write a story!

They attempt to question him, but can't, because they're zombies.

But then they decide that they don't care if it's Blake or not, they just want brains so they eat him.

That makes his baby grandparents sad and they start crying again.

But there is nobody there to take care of them so they just give up.

Except for Taylor, right, their mommy. And she leaves them since they were crying and then they shit up.

Typo but I'm leaving it.

So they're laying their in their shit, upset and nobody is there to take care of them so they just start punching each other.

Their names are Matt and Mattette.

And then they die.

Taylor feels no remorse.

The group discusses what to do with Matt and Mattette. They decide the two should be cremated and have their ashes spread in some form of highfalutin' adventure.

So they burn the babies because they are the worse people ever.

Of them all, Mary is clearly the worst because she was the one who decided the babies were dead in the first place.

And then Shawn kisses Katelynn.

And everyone stops to watch because it's so adorable. Fireworks go off in the background.

And then Taylor comes in and kills Katelynn out of jealousy.

And Shawn instantly dies of heart break and the two live forever in heaven.

And then Taylor misses Shawn so she kills herself.

And goes to Hell for murder and never sees Shawn or Katelynn again.

But then she strikes a deal with the devil that if she kisses him he'll let her go to heaven so she does that.

But then Jesus shows up and destroys the evil Taylor once and for all.

And then they have a party and heaven.

Without ponies.

Because pony people will lose.

Because they are losers.

Even if they actually have a better winning record than the normal people.