Let's write a story!

His mother, Mary, awoke with a start.

Except then he got confused because his mother was actually Taylor and Mary was smashed outside.

He decided that this new sleep schedule was seriously messing with his head and went to go lie down.

He slept for an entire 8 hours because he knew that was the best way to stay healthy and recharge his body for the next day.

When he woke up, his friend Brianna called him and laughed at him for sleeping so much, bragging about how well she was doing on the sleep schedule.

Then Brianna fell asleep mid-sentence because she was so sleep-deprived and also slept for eight hours. Everyone fails and gets laughed at.

I just found this.

Jessica laughs the hardest which results in Brianna punching her in the face.

Taylor laughed so much she wet herself.

Shawn, laughing at Taylor's misfortune, fell to the floor for such a long time that Katelynn became concerned.

She had the right to be concerned, of course, he was choking on his own spit and could possibly die if she didn't save him.

So Katelynn gave him mouth to mouth, which ended in a fiery makeout session that reinvigorated Shawn with new life. Then he won a Nobel Prize.

The Nobel Prize was in Cutest Couple, which was a category made solely for this occasion and which makes no sense in any other context.

He celebrated with a trip to Siberia.

Where we met a rare Siberian Tiger. Mystified by the majestic beast, Shawn decided to take lots of pictures which he sold for a lot of money. Then he became rich.

He decided to use the money to purchase a private island, but because he's a meanie poo he wouldn't let anyone else live there.

They aren't allowed to live there. They have to die there.

Shawn decided to host a real-life mafia game, and gathered us all together on his island. We were all really happy to be together, but then we had to kill each other and it got ugly. Then we all voted for Shawn to die and killed him and had the island to ourselves.

Unfortunately, without Shawn's wealth, we were evicted from the island and forced to return to our normal homes.

We all said a really sad goodbye and then went back to our homes and computers and resumed playing online. But then Oliver hacked Shawn's account and starting changes things on our website.

Enraged by his insolence, we decided to start our own website, only to find that Oliver had copyrighted everything to do with the game mafia so that we wouldn't be able to escape him.

We have to make up our own game now, one that has just as much strategy and death but completely different from mafia.

We find a loophole that allows us to create the game Maifa, where you can only play as long as you have ice cream and the Maifas go around stealing ice cream from people and if you're accused of being Maifa all of your ice cream is taken away. Blake is very good at this game.

We all suck at this new game Maifa except for Blake, and he gets really mad at us because it's exactly like Mafia except not because it has ice cream, and that makes all the difference. So we form a real-life mafia, because that's not copyrighted.

And then we gather together to decide who we want to kill and we decide that Jessica probably isn't trustworthy so we should kill her.

I say that maybe we should kill Mary instead. We split in half, everyone taking sides with one of us.