The Hard Life of Mr. Ant

This was my third find on Google.

Mr. Ant is very unlucky and lucky all at once. He keeps almost dying, but always gets saved. Each time you post, save Mr. Ant from what the last person put him through, but then try to kill him yourself.

Example:

1: Mr. Ant is stepped on.
2: But it was by a smaller ant. Mr. Ant is eaten by a spider.
3. But then a spider slayer comes and kills the spider and frees Mr. Ant. Mr. Ant is...

I'll start. Mr. Ant is thrown in a fire.

But then I put the fire out.

Mr. Ant is fed poison.

But Mr. Ant is immune.

Mr. Ant was smashed on Halloween.

But he wasn't a Mary, so he was okay.

Mr. Ant was drowned.

But the lifeguard resuscitated him.

Mr. Ant was in a desert during nuclear testing.

But he was like a cockroach and could survive it.

Mr. Ant was quartered like where they tie rope to each of your limbs and then pull you apart.

Mr. Ant's limbs are so small the ropes just fell off when they tried to pull him apart.

Mr. Ant was thrown off the top of a 46 story building.

But there was a giant stack of mattresses that he landed on, protecting him from harm.

Mr. Ant was suicidal and decided to hang himself.

The rope broke and Mr. Ant was saved.

Mr. Ant was mistaken for a firefly and was placed in a small bottle that was violently shaken causing all of the bones in his body to break.

But he was captured by the child of a veterinarian who recognized him as an ant and set his bones so they would heal properly.

Mr. Ant was run over.

Except Mr. Ant went back to biology class and remembered that ants don't have bones, they have an exoskeleton, so apparently he didn't actually break his bones and was therefore fine.

Darn you Parti!

Except he was ran over by a cloud so it didn't do him any harm.

Mr. Ant was fried, coated in chocolate, and eaten.

But he was then vomited out.

Mr. Ant was fired out of a canon towards a brick wall.

But the cannon was too far away and he ran out of momentum and landed safely on the ground.

Mr. Ant got alcohol poisoning.

But he goes to rehab and it's okay. (I don't know how alcohol poisoning works. I assume rehab is sufficient to save him.)

Mr. Ant was shot.

But he was wearing a bulletproof vest.

I go back in time and erase Mr. Ant's existence.

PinkSponge wrote:(I don't know how alcohol poisoning works. I assume rehab is sufficient to save him.)

(Actually I think you have to get your stomach pumped.)

But he goes back in time also and rewrites it.

Mr. Ant is struck by lightning.

But he's in a car, so he's safe.

Mr. Ant was in a car crash.

But he had his seat belt on so he was alright.

Mr. Ant went skydiving and forgot his parachute.

He was wearing a jacket and was able to somehow use it as a parachute.

Mr. Ant messed with the wrong mafia.

But the doctor saved him. All good.

Mr. Ant was attacked by a killer tornado.

But he went into his safe shelter thing and was fine.

Mr. Ant was put under a magnifying glass in the sun.

But the glass wasn't focusing the light properly.

Mr. Ant was sprayed with ANT KILLER MAX!

But the bottle was empty.

Mr. Ant fell off Rainbow Road.

But he was in Mario Land of course so he had an extra life.

Mr. Ant was sawed in half.

But then the magician put him back together.

Mr. Ant was taped to the wall.