The Hard Life of Mr. Ant

However, he was inside the closed zipper pocket of a jacket and no water reached him.

A toddler accidentally ate Mr. Ant.

But he was spit out almost immediately, un-chewed for the child had no teeth.

Mr. Ant was spotted by an eagle.

But the eagle mistook him for a piece of dirt and kept flying.

Mr. Ant was targeted by the mafia.

The Doctor saved Mr. Ant

Mr. Ant was modkilled.

But it was just a game, so he was fine.

Mr. Ant figured out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, and all the world leaders are now after him.

He gives them the information they want and they leave him alone.

Mr. Ant gets his identity stolen by a serial killer who then targets him before he can go to the police.

He miraculously survives because a witness saw the whole thing and called the police for him.

Mr. Ant was attacked by his doppelgänger.

The fabric of the entire universe tore at the seams, but they were okay and they became life-long friends. They fixed the universe with their knowledge.

Mr. Ant is redundant, he repeats himself, and he says the same thing multiple times, and it annoys people so much that they all attack him.

He apologizes for being annoying and promises never to do anything like that ever again. Everyone forgives him.

Mr. Ant has cancer.

He recovers, slowly but surely.

Mr. Ant was sent back in time to the beginning of this thread, only weaker, so he can't survive the things he endured in the past.

He was sent back in time before he was sent back in time so he's not being sent back in time anymore, instead, he's recovering from cancer.

Does that make sense?

Mr. Ant is having a head ache.

Mr. Ant mans up and takes some pain killers.

Mr. Ant is choked by Darth Vader for being rebel scum.

Darth Vader realizes that he is Mr. Ant's father and lets him go.

Mr. Ant became a kamikaze pilot in World War II.

But he realizes the mistakes in his life and lands somewhere else.

Mr. Ant is blown up by a rocket launcher.

But he dug a very deep hole and survived the rocket crash.

Mr. Ant lost his job and his will to live.

But his wife was there for him.

Mr. Ant's wife left him.

He got a girlfriend.

Mr. Ant's girlfriend is a gold digger

But that makes them rich.

Mr. Ant has a mining accident digging for gold with his girlfriend.

But he survives underground and learns to live with all the gold he obtained.

Mr. Ant's girlfriend took all that he had after everyone thought he died in the mines.

But his girlfriend dies and drops all her gold down the mine back to him and he escapes.

Mr. Ant gets drunk and owes someone money that he doesn't have.

He repays him with the gold he owns.

Mr. Ant's ex-wife wants his gold.

Mr. Ant Kills her.

Mr. Ant falls off of a cliff.

Mr. Ant lands on a trampoline.

Mr. Ant went blind.

But he recovered somehow.

Mr. Ant is deathly allergic to peanuts, and is forced into peanut butter.

However, this brand of peanut butter is a nasty knock-off that doesn't even use peanuts, just artificial colouring and flavouring.

Mr. Ant was confronted by an anteater.